We’re always told addictions are bad, but I can’t support the idea that an addiction to cruising is remotely bad. Here’s my list of 11 signs that you are definitely addicted to cruising:
1) You use nautical terms on land.
Landlubber: Where is your house?
You: Oh, it’s just a starboard turn at the next corner.
2) Your ringtone is a ship’s horn.
And it terrifies everyone but you when it sounds.
3) You perform a muster drill when guests come over.
In case the Captain gives the order to abandon the house, you will be alerted by seven short blasts followed by one long blast on the ship’s horn and internal alarm system.
4) Meals must be cruise inspired.
Tonight we will be starting with a shrimp cocktail, followed by lobster tail, and finishing with Baked Alaska. Oh, and don’t miss the international parade of waiters.
5) You make dining reservations as if you’re on a ship.